The Journey of Becoming
- Rachel K
- Jul 2
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 20
Podcast: Journeys
Series: Becoming
Who Am I Becoming?
Every journey has the power to change us.
Some journeys take us across oceans. Others lead us through grief, unexpected diagnoses, or seasons we never imagined. Along the way, many of us find ourselves asking a question we never expected:
Who am I becoming?
For a long time, I thought I understood who I was.
I knew the roles I filled, the things I was capable of doing, and the plans I had for my life. I found purpose in serving others, caring for my family, working hard, and accomplishing the things I set out to do.
Then I was diagnosed with Functional Neurological Disorder, commonly known as FND.
FND changed the way my brain sends and receives signals throughout my body. It affected my ability to speak, think, remember, move, and do many of the things that had once come naturally to me. My symptoms were unpredictable. Some days I could do more; other days, even simple tasks felt overwhelming.
Little by little, the life I had known began to change.
I could no longer rely on my body or my mind in the way I once had. I had to step away from responsibilities I valued. I struggled to accomplish things that had once seemed easy. Plans I had made for my future suddenly felt uncertain.
As my abilities changed, so did the way I saw myself.
I had spent so much of my life measuring my worth by what I could do—how much I could accomplish, how well I could care for the people around me, and whether I was fulfilling the roles I believed God had given me.
When I could no longer do those things in the same way, I began asking:
Who am I now?
What is my purpose if I cannot do what I used to do?
What comes next?
For years, I tried to tell my FND story. I recorded several podcast episodes about my diagnosis, my symptoms, and the grief of losing parts of my former life. I needed each of those attempts. They helped me process what was happening and gave me a place to put feelings I did not always know how to explain.
Those earlier episodes are now preserved in the Legacy Library. They represent important pieces of my journey, but none of them felt like the end of the story.
Perhaps that is because I was still looking backward.
I wanted to understand what had happened to me. I wanted to know why my life had changed and whether I would ever become the person I had been before.
But somewhere along the way, a different question began to emerge.
Instead of asking only, Who am I now? I began to ask:
Who am I becoming?
That question changed everything.
It did not erase my grief or make living with FND easy. It did not give me back everything I had lost. But it helped me see that my life was not over simply because it no longer looked the way I had planned.
Maybe healing does not always mean returning to who we were before.
Sometimes healing means learning to accept the person we are becoming.
I began to understand that my worth had never depended on how productive I was, what I accomplished, how I appeared, or how closely my life matched my plans. My worth was not something my illness could take away.
It was already mine because I am a beloved daughter of God.
That truth became the foundation of Journeys.
This podcast grew from my desire to understand how the experiences we encounter—both the ones we choose and the ones we never expected—shape our lives.
Every journey leaves something behind.
Every story has something to teach us.
And every unexpected turn invites us to look more closely at who we are becoming.
As I share these stories, I am still discovering the answers for myself. I do not believe becoming means leaving every broken piece behind or turning into someone entirely new. Perhaps it means learning to see ourselves as God has always seen us—worthy, loved, and still capable of becoming more fully who we were meant to be.
This is the journey I am on.
The Journey of Becoming.
Continue The Journey
Scripture
"Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God."
(Doctrine and Covenants 18:10)
Reflection Questions
What journey has shaped who you are today?
What labels have you attached to your identity?
If those labels disappeared, who would you still be?
Who is God helping you become?
Learn more about Functional Neurological Disorder, by visiting Neurosymptoms.org. It has been one of the most helpful and trustworthy resources I've found as I've learned to understand and navigate life with FND.
Credits
Host & Producer: Rachel Koko
Podcast & Series: Journeys: Becoming, a podcast by Radiant Grace Productions
Theme Music: Style, Riverside Attribution IPFXSUWDW5K0FZYC
Photography & Images: Marc Reynold, Reynolds Photography Group
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